Your writing sharpens to deliciously witty when you’re angry, Penguin – a very enjoyable warning indeed. I’m not an avid theatre goer myself, so I can’t totally relate to this, but I do appreciate the frustration and the despair.

From the perspective of the theatres and I guess the associated production companies, what do you think drives the wont to put on the shows that drive you mad? Someone must be getting a kick out of them, or they must be making money, or they must be popular for a new kind of audience? If nothing concrete, why would they ‘work’, assuming they do?